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DR 1: Children are personally and socially competent
⇣ Indicator: SOC—Children demonstrate effective social and interpersonal skills
⇣ Measure 7: Developing Friendships—
Child forms close relationships with specific peers, sharing experiences and activities
	Descriptors	Examples
7	Engages in on-going social games and pretend play with a particular child	Over many days, builds a pretend city using blocks with Jose. Spends free time across a period of days with a particular child or children, pretending to be members of a family.
6	Prefers being with a particular child who also expresses preference for him or her	Asks Jose, “Do you want to play with blocks or puppets?” and plays the activity Jose chooses. Refers to activities he and a preferred playmate have enjoyed doing together. “Emma and I like to play together,” and Emma nods her head.
5	Identifies another child as a friend	Communicates, “Jose is my friend.” Communicates, “I want to play with Donna. She’s my friend.” Chooses the same child as a partner for group walks. Identifies a friend using augmentative communication device.
4	Plays with one or two children in group on a regular basis	Plays with same friend(s) day after day. Looks for favorite child when entering the room in the morning. Selects a picture of playmate.
3	Shows interest in other children at play	Reaches for a toy or object being used by another child. Watches other children as they play. Moves closer to one or two “friends” while they play.
2	Responds to other children and explores their faces and bodies	Moves excitedly when another child comes near. Pats or grasps another child. Rolls toward another child. Cries if another child gets too close.
1	Attends to other children’s behavior	Looks at or turns toward other children.

Measure 7 — SOC 4

Developing Friendships

Child forms close friendships with specific peers, sharing experiences and activities

While friendships are typical in early childhood, the quality and capacities of children’s friendships grow dramatically over time. Infants and toddlers show interest in other children and enjoy playing near each other. In the late toddler and early preschool years, children’s communication and play skills increase sufficiently to promote early, interactive friendships. Over the next few years, friendships deepen as children refine their ability to engage in two-way communications, share and take turns, manage their aggressive feelings, be assertive without causing harm, and resolve conflicts.

Infants as young as two months of age show signs of interest in other infants. They may turn toward other children who are nearby. As they become mobile, infants respond to other children by patting, grasping, rolling, or crawling toward them. By the time they are nine months old, infants will try to get the attention of familiar infants by making noises or waving. They also begin to imitate each other. However, infants’ first and most important playmates are their adult caregivers. Playing such games as peek-a-boo and tickle begins to teach infants the joys of interacting and reciprocally communicating with others, along with some of the basic rules of play, such as turn-taking.

Building on their curiosity and exploratory interactions with peers during infancy, toddlers become increasingly interested in other children and will watch them as they play. Their first true social exchanges may begin by copying one another and giggling in delight at the results. The more familiar toddlers are with one another, the more likely they are to develop friendships. Given the opportunity to relate over time, older toddlers will begin to play regularly with one or two particular children. These young playmates will seek each other out, choose to remain close to each other, and appear to enjoy each other’s company. During this period of budding friendships, most toddlers still prefer adults for company and play.

Young preschoolers often identify another child as a friend. In preschool friendships, particular pairs of children choose each other, prefer each other as play partners, and attempt to be like each other. Young preschoolers build upon and elaborate on the imitative games they played as toddlers by inventing more complex games to play together, such as digging a deep hole in the sand or taking care of dolls. When one play partner moves off to participate in a new activity, the second partner will often follow along to maintain the connection. Young preschool friendships are often broad and changeable, as common interests and skills influence choices in play partners. At this age, young preschoolers usually do not have just one best friend. One child may be a preferred friend for fantasy play, while another may be a preferred friend to sit next to during story time.

Older preschoolers move from primarily seeking adult company to spending more time with peers. While they may play with a number of children, they begin to make a distinction between playmates and friends. At this age, they begin to identify certain children as their best friends. Preschoolers are also beginning to be concerned with “Are you my friend?” questions. In fact, one way preschoolers let others know they are angry is to say such things as “You’re not my friend” or “You can’t come to my birthday.” Older preschoolers often solidify their friendships with declarations of exclusivity, such as “We’re best friends” and, to another child, “You can’t play with us.” The growth of cognitive and language skills in older preschoolers also leads to increasingly complex interactions, as friends move into social pretend play. They often invent play themes that may last over a period of time. For example, a child might invite a friend to play “car races¸” or to play “restaurant,” games they have played often in the past.

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