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DR 1: Children are personally and socially competent
⇣ Indicator: REG—Children demonstrate effective self-regulation in their behavior
⇣ Measure 12: Seeking Other’s Help to Regulate Self—
Child seeks assistance from other people to manage needs
	Descriptors	Examples
5	Requests adult’s help ahead of time in order to get needs met	Requests special stuffed toy or blanket before naptime. Asks adult for props, such as a bottle for a baby doll, to prepare for pretend play. Asks or motions to adult to undo snap on pants so he can use the potty.
4	Communicates specific physical or emotional needs to adult	Brings shoe to adult when needing help to put it on. Points at cup or uses the sign for “more” to get more milk. Use augmentative communication device or picture board to request assistance from an adult.
3	Goes or signals to adult when needing comfort or help	Looks at adult often while playing. Vocalizes to or moves toward adult when something unusual happens, such as a loud noise. Moves toward or gestures to familiar adult when tired.
2	Gives simple cues to adult about physical and emotional needs	Smiles and coos when adult gives attention. Fusses to get needs met.
1	Reacts to internal and external sensations	Relaxes body when held. Cries when tired or hungry.

Measure 12 — REG 2

Seeking Other's Help to Regulate Self

Child manages needs through seeking or relying on assistance from other people

Children develop the capacity for self-regulation in the context of supportive, trusting relationships with adults. A critical step in this development is for young children to learn to actively seek the help of adults in regulating their emotions and behaviors. This begins as infants gradually become aware that their caregivers are the source of comfort and relief from distress and that their own behaviors can bring attention and comfort.

The ability of very young infants to regulate their states of arousal and their reactions to sensations of comfort and discomfort is very limited. Although they can react to distress by crying or becoming agitated, they are dependent on caregivers to relieve their distress by feeding them when they are hungry, for example, or holding them when they are unsettled. Infants who grow up with caring and responsive adults quickly learn that adults can be counted on for help and support. By five months old, infants learn to give simple cues and anticipate that their cues, whether it be a cry for help or a coo and smile for play and interaction, will get a desired response.

As toddlers become more mobile and more able to communicate their needs, they can actively seek out adults for comfort or help. Toddlers can move about to find their caregivers and can communicate what they need more clearly with gestures or words. For example, a toddler might stay near her caregiver in the presence of a stranger or call for his mother when frightened. Older toddlers are able to communicate their specific, immediate needs in a variety of ways. For example, a toddler might bring a toy to an adult to get help with it or take an adult’s hand for comfort in an unfamiliar situation.

As children move into the preschool years they become more independent. They have developed strategies for managing their own needs in some situations. They also are beginning to be able to anticipate situations and take action ahead of time to enlist adults’ help in managing their needs. For example, a child might ask an adult to help her put on her boots before going outside on a wet day.

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