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DR 1: Children are personally and socially competent
⇣ Indicator: REG—Children demonstrate effective self-regulation in their behavior
⇣ Measure 14: Self-Comforting—
Child comforts self in response to distress from either internal or external stimulation
	Descriptors	Examples
5	Anticipates need for comfort and prepares self for changes in routine	Prepares self for transitions by asking what’s going to happen. When dropped off by parent, takes parent over to quiet place to read a book together before parent leaves.
4	Chooses to comfort self in one or more ways that fit with the situation	Asks for music or lullaby when lying down for nap. When upset after parent leaves, goes to get photo of parent and shows it to adult. Goes to cozy area to get away from active play of other children.
3	Comforts self by seeking either a familiar person or a special object	Soothes self with familiar object, such as a blanket, when tired or upset. Gestures to adult to pick him or her up when sleepy.
2	Uses simple responses to comfort self	Sucks thumb to soothe self. Turns head away from sensory experiences that are overwhelming. Nuzzles face into blanket or adult’s sweater.
1	Responds reflexively to aversive stimulation or distress	Startles when she hears a loud noise. Closes eyes when exposed to bright sunlight. Cries when tired, hungry, or uncomfortable.

Measure 14 — REG 4

Self-Comforting

Child comforts self in response to distress from either internal or external stimulation

A child’s ability to self-comfort is closely tied to cognitive, motor, and social development. In responsive and supportive environments, children learn how to move from completely depending on others for comfort to learning ways to comfort themselves. Self-comforting is one of the ways in which children regulate their emotions and emotional reactions. It is important to keep in mind that culture has a direct influence on how emotions are expressed and regulated. For example, in one family, a two-year-old boy may be soothed by a caregiver when he cries after falling down, while in another, that child might be told that he is too old to cry. Temperament also plays a role in children’s emotional regulation, including their developing ability to self-comfort.

Newborn infants respond to distress or disturbance by fussing, startling, or reflexive avoidance—for example, closing their eyes against a bright light. They are dependent on caregivers to figure out the cause of their distress, to eliminate the cause (by feeding, turning the baby over, changing a diaper, etc.), and to sooth them. In the first few months of life, infants begin to learn some simple behaviors for soothing themselves, such as sucking on a fist. Before the end of the first year, infants develop the motor skills and awareness to purposefully use simple behaviors to comfort themselves when stressed—for example, sucking their thumb, resting their head on the floor, or signaling to an adult to pick them up.

Toddlers develop more purposeful and varied strategies to comfort themselves. Their new mobility allows them to leave a stressful situation or to seek out a person or familiar object such as a blanket for comfort. Toddlers may also distract themselves with a toy or activity. For example, if a child is worried by the presence of a stranger in the classroom, he might turn his back to the stranger and line up toy cars. Like younger babies, toddlers may continue to use self-soothing behaviors such as thumb sucking or hair twirling. With experience and development, they are increasingly capable of figuring out ways to comfort themselves that fit with the situation. For example, an older toddler might put his hands over his ears to dampen the loud sound when a fire drill alarm scares him, or he might go to a different area of the room to play if other children are fighting.

As they move into the preschool years, young children are becoming more aware of their own emotional responses, as well as of social expectations of behavior. They are also becoming able to think about the future. This allows them to begin to anticipate their needs for comfort in potentially stressful situations and take action before the stressor actually happens. For example, when faced with an unfamiliar event or situation, a child might ask an adult in advance for information (“What will happen?”) or assurances (“Will you come back?”).

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